Mimesis: Night of the Living Dead

 Overly complicated head scratching title aside this concept really sounded original, new and exciting to me. Two good friends on a trip to a horror convention somehow get trapped along with other con patrons in an alternate world where they are cast to relive the George A. Romero classic Night of the Living Dead! I can't tell you what an immense good time that would be until shit gets real and a walking sack of maggots starts chewing on you or your friend's vitals. Not so much fun anymore.
Now from the start to about a third of the movie this is a good zombie film, not great by any means, but certainly good. Something happens at that point though, I won't spoil it because it really tossed me on my ass, but this thing picks up speed and takes off like a fucking nuclear missile somehow making the slower start of the film, easier to digest. The character's aren't anything special as it's mostly convention tag alongs (not true fans) who wake up in this nightmare, but rest assured there is a purpose for everything. Smart, fun, and soaked in gore Mimesis is a one of a kind tasty treat for the undead eyes. Hell I'll even go one step further and label this bitch "Groovy!"

P.S. I saw this flick get bashed a lot across the internet as the trailer had music by the self proclaimed most hated band in the world the Insane Clown Posse and ended claiming the film itself also featured music by ICP. Now my thoughts on ICP aside I can tell you for better or worse there is only one ICP song in the whole damn thing and it doesn't play till the end credit crawl. So if their music was keeping you from seeing this flick, suck it up buttercup nobody is forcing you to sit through the credits unless you watch it with me; in which case you will watch the credits and enjoy the credits and not talk through the credits. :)

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Hatchet 3

The Hatchet Franchise has been one of the best modern day Horror Franchise's in my personal opinion, since the day's when Freddy,Michael, and Jason were wreaking all havoc on your screens and haunting your nightmares!

Hatchet 1 & 2 was directed by the creator Adam Green while for the 3rd instalment he handed the director duties to his loyal camera operator and new comer to the big chair behind the camera BJ McDonnell, But even with McDonnell directing Adam Green still wrote the screenplay, so basically limiting the direction a new director could take the franchise, but BJ McDonnell still did a pretty damn good job with his limitations!

The movie starts off immediately where the second one finished off with a great horrific gory violent scene between Marybeth and Victor Crowley which ends pretty sweet! don't wanna ruin it for you like other sites may be doing with there review so i'll stop there.

The Movies about a search and recovery team heads into the haunted swamp to pick up the pieces and Marybeth learns the secret to ending the voodoo curse that has left Victor Crowley haunting and terrorizing Honey Island Swamp for decades. (taken from IMDB)

This movie has it all... almost, it has The Gore! The Violence! The Over The Top Kills! A Couple Laughs if your twisted in the head like I may be, but one thing this movie was missing that every slasher film should have is The Titties! <----Highlight there to see what i'm talking about it's not a major spoiler but it may disappoint a few haha.

But overall I loved the movie, and the Cameo cameo from Sid Haig (Captain Spaulding from The Devil's Rejects) was hilarious! and i highly recommend this movie to all fans of Hatchet 1 & 2 and if you ain't seen the first 2 yet i suggest you run out and grab yourself a copy of both! even though its not 100% necessary to see the first 2 to enjoy the third i reccomend it so you'll know the full story of Victor Crowley! and I guarantee you will love them, if your a true fan of the Slasher Genre! or send me your dvd's you buy and i will give you 5$ for them haha

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Q: The Winged Serpent

In this New York set Kaiju throwback a cult sacrifices willing members to an ancient God who just happens to be a giant winged serpent!

David Carradine (that guy that strangled himself to death while master-bating after playing Bill in Kill Bill) plays a cop who's putting his reputation in jeopardy by linking the gruesome murders of cult members to the giant bird sightings. Q also stars Michael Moriarty and he steals the show as a hard luck small time criminal who finds Q's nest while hiding from police and his associates after a botched robbery. Moriarty is one of those people who even if you don't recognize him he has a familiar face, likeable demeanor, and a charisma that even accompanies his most pathetic moments; you can't not root for this guy.  Last but not least the belle of the blood ball Q is one Hell of a winged serpent even if she doesn't exactly match up to the poster art of the time. Q is brought to terrifying life through the magic of stop motion and robotic puppetry! 

I don't want to spoil anything as Q gave me so much more story than what I was expecting, but in the end if blood raining down (from a lacerated sky) on panicked citizens from the claws and mouth of a pretty kick ass winged serpent sounds like fun to you I'd highly recommend this flick!

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The Amazing Adventures Of The Living Corpse

The Amazing Adventures Of The Living Corpse is an Animated Action Horror Movie, Based on the Dynamite Publishing comic series 'The Living Corpse: Exhumed, 'The Living Corpse is a rotting mass of bone and tissue. Moldy clothes hang on the ghastly frame of this impossible visage of death. Gnarled teeth gnash on a dinner of brains and blood - nutrition for what by all accounts is your typical 'zombie'. But this monster is different than your typical mindless, corpse- devouring skeletons. This monster has a soul.

Through monasteries and churches long forgotten and tunnels and catacombs never seen by mortal man, The Living Corpse searches for clues to the whereabouts of his son, Taylor, the only survivor of a zombie attack led by The Living Corpse himself.

Decades pass as The Living Corpse becomes a tool of the underworld, dispatching all manners of horrible creatures in all corners of the globe while constantly keeping up hope that his child is out there, somewhere in the terrible world. Will he find his son? Will his son forgive him? What price will be paid? All will be answered as we watch The Amazing Adventures of The Living Corpse!

The Animation for this movie is nowhere near the quality of a 100+ Million Dollar budget Pixar film obviously haha, but its not bad, it's good enough to watch the movie without hating it, it actually reminded me of playing a video game through out the whole movie so much that i almost reached for my PS3 controller a few time throughout the movie.

The story was pretty decent, the soundtrack was superb and fitted the film quite well, The voice acting was hit n miss through out, Also it was lacking on the blood and gore this is an animated movie with an "R" rating and that should not have been an issue it should have been a over the top blood n gore fest! but sadly it wasn't.

Also with the above being said i completely disagree with the "R" rating that originally made me check out an animated movie in the first place, this is more suited towards the "PG13" age group since the blood,violence, n gore was lacking and also any comedy in this movie seemed pretty childish.

So this has been a pretty mixed review so overall if you have the chance to check this movie out give it a go, but in no means can I sit here and tell someone to rush out and buy it.

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"DEAR GOD NO!"

"Dear God No!" is the amalgamation of 3 different exploitation themes; biker flick, monster movie, and 1970's stag film. A biker gang known as the Impalers are going on a rampage, killing all witnesses and generally pissing people off including their own chapter. The leader of the chapter warns the group that if they continue killing every person they come across drawing unwanted attention they will be the number one targets of the entire gang. Now on the run from what's left of the gang, the impalers look for a wealthy house they can creepy crawl Manson style. Unfortunately for the Impalers the house they invade is home to a scientist with a Sasquatch fetish.

I really want to start off by saying that at it's rotten core "DEAR GOD NO!" is a really enjoyable movie, but there's plenty of things that for me personally tried my patience and that is where the film suffered greatly. The opening sequence kind of set that tone, as this long drawn out music piece blared over the dialogue leaving anything the gang said in the first 5-8 minutes entirely up to my lip reading skills which aren't very goddamn good. Of course that was all followed up by the bikers riding towards the camera for what felt like an eternity while the music finished off. In another scene some strippers danced around with the camera zooming in on their tits from different angles until this view of tits became torture (it takes a special kind of talent to make beautiful naked women boring to look at.) Remember on Simpson's when Milhouse, while watching the Poochie episode of Itchy and Scratchy cried out in frustration "Awwww when are they going to get to the fireworks factory?" I really wish every filmmaker out there would keep poor Milhouse's pathetic tone in the back of their heads before subjecting us to the same thoughts. Well, I think I've made my point about the flaws of this film so now onto the fun stuff!

When it comes to these cheesy throwback fanboy exploitation films there are certain beats you need them to hit. For starters the music needs to put you right in the era they intend to mimic. While as I stated above sometimes there was a little too much thought taken to the importance of the music, when used in proper moderation the score was perfect in every way. They need nudity, most of the time the nudity was welcome and again in proper moderation it was awesome. Over the top disgusting characters, I didn't always buy the performances that needed selling and there was certainly some lulls that could have used a punch, but overall some awesome dialogue and good bad acting throughout pretty much kept me grinning the entire time. And lastly great practical effects to fancy up the whole thing! Not all kills were on screen but the ones that were looked fantastic, great squatch effects too! Dear God No is good not great, but it is definitely good. If you've seen the trailer this movie looks like the best discovery you've ever made, so be warned don't go in expecting Manborg, Father's Day, Hobo with a Shotgun or any others that sit at a mighty throne on their own.

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